Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Book 21

Hello mates, great news to report, but we'll get into that later. So as I told you last week, Penelope is having a contest to see who will marry her. I know it is very saddening for me to hear. So for this competition the person will need to string MY bow and shoot through the hole of twelve axes lined up in a row. At first I thought this was going to be a piece of cake, but then remembered that it’s been a long, long time since I've used this bad boy. Take a wild guess as who is the first person to try this, TELEMAKHOS, my son, wanting to marry his own mother. Well I understand I guess, if you've been living in the shadow of your dad your whole life, you might want to show people that you’re even better than your dad. He was so close to getting it, as he was almost there he glanced toward me and suddenly failed, I was quite impressed on how close he had come. After many suitors have tried and failed I stepped up to the bow and asked for a try. At first it was a little tricky, I don’t know why but it felt a little more slippery than years before. So I strung the bow with ease, pull the arrow back, BAM, right through all the heads... just like in the good ole days if you know what I mean. haha

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Book 20

Last night I had a really hard time going to sleep. I kept thinking that Telemakhos and I won’t be able to conquer so many suitors. So I pray to big Zeus and ask if he could just send me down an Omen. Right then I heard this big clasp of thunder and I knew everything is going to be alright. Sometimes you just need a little reassurance to help put your mind at ease. I met this very kind Suitor named Philoetius. I was very honored when I heard him say that he still has hope that Odysseus will come home, I hope I don’t have to kill him. Then all the suitors entered the palace and they immediately started to talk of plans to kill Telemakhos. I was about to jump up and slit all their throats, how can they say such a thing in MY palace. I don’t understand how they can plan to marry Penelope after they kill her son. Later at the diner table one of the suitors threw a pig’s hoof right at my feet. Telemakhos stood up and threatened to kill the man, I had never been so proud of my son in my entire life, (partly because I had just met him). Then the ignorant suitors started laughing at him, we’ll see whose laughing when I murder all of you… sorry that was a little uncalled for. Strangely everything then started to be covered with blood, first the suitors then all of the walls. I’m not sure what it means, but I have a feeling there are going to be a lot of deaths soon, and I hope I’m not one of them.

Thursday, March 13, 2008


Hello readers, Odysseus here to report. We have now just removed the weapons from the suitors reach and hid them away, with some provided light from Athena. After my boy went off to bed, I sat with Penelope. She questioned me on things about me; I tried to be modest so I mainly gave physical descriptions. After describing, “him” Penelope immediately started crying. I felt so sad watching her cry, after a loved one is gone and you are worried of their condition, all you want to hear is that they are ok. I told Penelope that Odysseus was doing well and I had heard that he was going to return home soon. Then Eurykleia was to clean my feet, while she was doing that she noticed the scar from my childhood hunting accident on my leg. Immediately she started shouting and beckoning toward Penelope, thank god Athena was there, (no pun intended) she had distracted Penelope long enough for me to convince Eurykleia to not tell anyone about me being here. After that near catastrophe, Penelope describes to me her strange dream; I then interpreted it to her. None the less she said she will MARRY, THE FIRST GUY WHO CAN SHOOT AN ARROW THROUGH THE HOLES OF TWELVE AXES!!! Did I not just tell her that her husband was coming home in a month, jeeze. Then again, I’m not the most loyal husband.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Book 18

Alright, today I had quite a day today. First off some slime ball homeless man who thinks he runs this palace challenges me; I finished him off quick (with a little help from Athena). Then Penelope walked down to check on things in the courtyard, she was lookin’ soooo fine, I just wanted to run up and kiss her. Then I pulled an Aristotle and had quite the philosophical speech, there were probably many suitors who were confused about my speech. I started off by saying about how humans depend far too much on the gods. If we think the gods are on our side we think we can do anything. Some of our lives are run by gods, because we have no drive to do anything. We feel that our fates are sealed by the gods and we can’t change anything, the gods will take care of everything.
I then talked about my adventures; I had always depended on myself and at first was really happy. Then I proceed to fall into a string of bad events, because I thought of myself as a god.
There are certain boundaries you cannot cross with the gods; you cannot take advantage of the gods. You need to honor the gods and treat them, well, like gods. At the same time if they give you an opportunity you should seize it.
Haha then I started making some harsh warnings. I just wanted to give them all a fair chance before I slaughtered them all. I told them once Odysseus came home he would slaughter them all until he had conquered his home. Can’t say I didn’t warn them.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Book 17

Hey its Telemachus here, sorry my dads busy working on our plan, he’s dressed as a beggar right now but will be back soon I think. So now that my dad and I have a plan to kill the suitors I'm getting really excited. I left my uncles house to say hi to my mom, she must be really worried about me, I haven’t seen her in a long time. I was also very happy to see Eurycleia. I told mom news of my trip, but did not tell her about dad being here. I told her that she must pray for the return of Odysseus. Meanwhile my dad was walking through the palace to see which suitors were kind. Almost all of the suitors gave him bread, which I was surprised about, although Antinous instead insulted him. Odysseus retaliated and insulted him back, and then Antinous hit him across the back with a chair. I could tell Odysseus wanted to fight back, but he restrained himself, I was very proud of his self control. Although Antinous didn’t know who this beggar was, you should always treat strangers respectively because you can never tell how important they might be. After their scuffle Penelope wanted to call the beggar (Odysseus) up to her room to question him, be he declined so now we’re stuck sitting with all these suitors.

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Book 11

Thank you Kirke, she really told me everything I needed to know. It is strange even though I left her; she was still very kind to me and helpful. Speaking of which, so was kalypso when she was forced to let me leave. I guess, when you love someone you just want what’s best for them, even if it means letting them go. So after I sacrificed the sacred animals, the ghosts all came to me. First I saw the woman I came to see, the Theban prophet Tiresias. She told me that Poseidon has hated me because of when I blinded his son, and also that, I WILL GO HOME AND GET PENELOPE BACK. First I have to go home kick the suitor’s butts, then I need to go to this island and sacrifice an animal to Poseidon so he’ll stop hatin’ on me. Then I can go home and live my life. She also warned me not to touch the flocks of the sun, if I did, my trip home would become a nightmare. At first I automatically thought ok well I’m defiantly not going to touch them now. Then I started thinking of everything that has happened to me recently; being seduced by Calypso, taunting the Cyclops, being seduced by Kirke, my men opening the bag. I started to realize that temptation can overrule your self control very easily, so I had to be careful. I was so sad to see my mother here in hell, especially when I heard that she had died because her mourning of me. She gave me the 411 on what’s happening at home. I then saw the ghost of Elepanor, my crew mate who had broken his neck. He asked us to give him a proper burial, but we just couldn’t, it would be far too dangerous, I felt so bad for him but I couldn’t do anything. I started seeing more and more familiar faces of other war heroes, Achilles, Agamemnon and others who told me of their lives and of their deaths. After a while the ghosts started to close in on me so I ran back to my ship and we headed out for our journey home... again.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Book 10

Now I've really gotten good at this story telling thing. These guys must all think I'm the man or something cus these stories are pretty heroic. So here’s the story I told them... After we left the island of Kyklopes, we were sailing around and decide to hit up Aeolus's crib, turns out this guy is like the king of the winds or something, and he has some connections with the gods. He gives us this bag of wind, ya pretty strange but it really helped. We were traveling towards for about ten days AND WE CAN SEE ITHICA. But of course, my idiot crewmates had to open it just because of curiosity. Sometimes when people don’t know about something their curiosity takes over and no matter the consequences they need to know about it. Once the bag was opened we flew all the way back to Aeolus's house. He didn’t give us any more wind because he thought I was cursed by the gods, I don’t blame him. We then had to row all the way to this island, which is inhabited by Laestrygonians, who are Giants. They ended up eating a couple of my men so we had to get out of their fast. As we were leaving the island we were bombarded by boulders thrown by the Laestrygonians and all but my ship was destroyed, ya I know pretty lucky.
So from their we proceed to travel to Aeaea ruled by the smoking goddess Kirke. Ya too bad she turned my pals into a bunch of pigs, which they acted like before. But Hermes has got my back so he gave me this herb which made it so I was immune to her potion. I then showed Kirke who’s the boss and freed all my men. She's just sooooo fine though, that… well… Long story short we end up staying there for a year. Wow Penelope will be SO mad if she hears all this, so you guys can’t tell her anything. Thankfully my men convince me to leave so I talk to Kirke and she tells me that I have to go to Hades and talk to some blind prophet guy. It seems just when I am getting close to home something goes wrong and I get side tracked. I don’t know if I’m every going to get home.